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Why I Love Love - The Ninja Pencil

Aug. 9th, 2012

07:21 am - Why I Love Love

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Since Monday, I’ve had the apartment to myself while my wife is having a mega-needed vacation with her sister and sister’s granddaughter, following a year of hell. I was unable to get this week out of work, as I just had 2 weeks out, and much is happening right now. So brief background: I’m from England, my wife is from the US, and after we fell in love, it took another year and a half of immigration paperwork & waiting before we were allowed to be together. That was eight years ago, and I have been clinging to her leg ever since. Not a day goes by in which I don’t enjoy the hell out of her company, marvel that I scored her, or laugh because she is freakin hilarious. We’re not accustomed to being apart, and neither particularly relished that specific aspect of the idea of this week. But anyway – it was happening, so what was I to do but plan to make good of my evening solitude for the next 5 days. I was going to A) attain full Zen / GodHead / Nirvana. B) Finish a 20K novella I started writing last week. C) Get another ~ 15 – 20 pages done on the script and D) Cook ,walk, exercise, play some Spanish guitar each day, get an oil change, etc etc etc.

But I wasn’t duly prepared for how mopey I was going to feel when Adrienne wasn’t around. The place sucks without her, I don’t feel like doing any of that stuff, I’m uninspired, and work was busier than anticipated, so I’m also pretty tired by the time I get home.

So instead of the above plans transpiring, I have: Eaten too much take-out food, watched about nineteen episodes of Hell’s Kitchen, finished a big tub of mint choc chip ice cream and a bottle of chocolate sauce, and almost moped a hole right in the hardwood floor.

Big revelations: I’m a baby who doesn’t function well without my other jigsaw piece. I love love, this is why I have drifted over the years from writing horror / horrendous material to writing light hearted romantic comedies. It takes a loooooong time immersed in your own world to write a novel. When I would spend that time in a horrendous world, my sunny disposition began to duck behind clouds. But when I spend it in a love story without any real pain or danger involved, I feel good. Pretty basic emotions 101; Laughing = Good. Terror = Every cell in your body is afraid, and concurs that you need to escape this situation STAT. Maybe this is why so many horror writers are weird, and the cynics & realists commit or attempt suicide. (Sylvia Plath, Kurt Vonnegut, Robert E. Howard, Hunter Thompson…)

I actively avoid and reject reality – it’s better for my mood.

Comments:

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From:eneit
Date:August 9th, 2012 12:07 pm (UTC)
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This is pretty cool to read, though. Nothing wrong with loving love. My mad Englishman gets equallly mopey if I'm gone overnight.
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From:ninja_pencil
Date:August 10th, 2012 10:39 am (UTC)
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:D This is nice to hear too. I'm driving down there after work today, spending the last night at the cottage and then we're coming home tomorrow. The way I picture it, there will be some slow-motion soft-focus running along a beach when we reunite, as the clouds morph into the shape of a heart. Although the last time I ran in slow motion, NASA abducted me & brought me in for experiments.
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From:that6tall2girl
Date:August 10th, 2012 01:32 am (UTC)
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I'm the other way around with my spouse. We've been together ten years (as of yesterday), and we're both very fond of each other's company. And yet, it doesn't have to be active company, merely proximity. We're both super independent, and sometimes I just need him to get the hell out of the house, so he'll go up to NY to visit friends. For the first two days, I'm totally feral and content. I get to eat vegetables for dinner, and play video games that make annoying repetitive noises. But then...some time after the first 48 hours...I start to miss him. And then I start to talk to the dog about how much I miss her father, and then I start to call him and leave lovey messages. And by the time he comes home, I'm all over him like white on rice and practically licking his face.
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From:ninja_pencil
Date:August 10th, 2012 10:34 am (UTC)
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LMAO I *thought* I would be feral too, as you beautifully described it - this is why the extent of my funk took me by surprise!
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